Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All I want is dick and wine.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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