last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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