At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
