Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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