Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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