Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
