So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
4 words: hood of his car
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
