You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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