Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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