i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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