corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize