..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
