whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
how do flat chested girls get laid?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize