He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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