I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
