the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
