New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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