Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
