Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My feet surprised me
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