I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize