just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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