i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
