HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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