I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
