Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
