Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
