dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
