i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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