i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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