When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
