wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do herpes really smell.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
