I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He uses pillows to masturbate.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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