You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize