wat bout pragnant strippers??
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
