did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
