Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I got inside last night via doggy door
did you just send me my own nude
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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