do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize