my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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