I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
