3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
