can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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