Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize