i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
