There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
