New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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