She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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