Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize