"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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