I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
