Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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