so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
