I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
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On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
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Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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