New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
