Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
