That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
