Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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