I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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