i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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