no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
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After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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